Bloggity Blog: What’s mumgetmum? I mean, what’s momentum?
You may or may not have obtained your Pinot Noir form the grapevine in recent weeks, which could mean there’s a 50/50 chance you’ve heard I’m preparing for a show. A local show. A tried and true ‘Start Ya Bastard’ show, but in lots of ways – a different show. In Bastard Town, we have this long-standing motto of sorts– give the local supporters a decent taste of the tour every couple of years. After all, they’re the folks who say ‘Hi!” on the rare occasion we stroll down the street; they’re the folks who keep me busily ‘adulting’ in the world, frequently saving me the embarrassment of admitting my hobby involves precisely articulating expletives; but perhaps most importantly, they’re now the folks who have accepted the responsibility of educating the child we just enrolled at primary school (which basically means they’re agreeing to devote their lives to erasing 5 years worth of ‘arsehole for a mother’ parenting and replacing it with acceptable skills and vernacular).
When I decided I was overdue for a bog - ahh, I mean blog. When I decided I was overdue for a blog, I immediately wondered what kind of update I could offer to the world. As I pong – ahh, fuck. Hang on……………… Right, back. (Yes, I snap and run. Too busy for any other method!) As I pondered this thought, I entered what I might call a bit of a mini depressive mindset. I questioned myself: Why haven’t you been gigging? Why is your focus so different? Starting a(nother) business and dipping your toe back into covers wasn’t meant to take bulk loads of time away from your own music. Thankfully, the melancholy mood didn’t last - as quickly as these questions entered my head, they were answered rationally: Your kids are only little once. God burdened you with many talents and a mildly disruptive dose of self-diagnosed ADHD. You’re on a mission to buy sheep. See, rational.
I googled a few inspirational quotes - quotes to fit with current feelings for where my career’s at - and perhaps most importantly, I started encouraging myself to plan positively, to prepare the show for everyone who’s looking forward to it and to rework the anxiety into excitement. Preparing for my first show in several months didn’t have to knock me over. One word stuck like a turd in my mind – momentum. I googled it and some of the statements I found were incredibly reassuring, taking me right back into my ‘buy some sheep’ daydreams with just the right mix of “you are what you is” and “do whatever the fuck feels right”. Perfect. My kinda headspace – to a tee.
“I want anything I produce to be good for people kind enough to try it, but it’s the momentum and process I enjoy most” - Zoe Foster Blake
I said to myself, “Self, you’ve got this. It’s not that you’ve lost momentum, you just loaned it to one of your other hats and when you wanna return it to the music world, you can.” You see, if I were to get caught up in the pattern of “Oh no, it’s been X months and I haven’t got another album ready. Shit, I’m a failed musician.” then – and this is clearly personal opinion – I’d say I’d need tell myself to have a long hard think about why I make music at all. If I feel the need to criticise the art-making process for taking the time it takes, then I’m spitting in the mirror – on my face and on my craft. The process itself is arguable the most vital part! New material will come. In fact, absolute crackers of ideas continue to enter my mind all the time! It’s just a harsh reality that ‘hobby time’ is poor when you’re stoking as many fires as I choose to. Bits and pieces will continue to pop up in the show and I’ll keep aiming to bring the whole kit and cavoodle (Woof! Woof!) to new areas. There are still bucket loads of Aussies I’m yet to meet and there are stacks more crazy-filled gigs to be had with this show. ‘Start Ya Bastard’ is very much alive and well, she’s simply been resting on the shelf in my office, awaiting her revival.
“One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals” Michael Korda
I’ll keep cruising in this place. My goals will evolve. Energies will ebb and flow between producing bigger and better fuck songs as life develops me further and slightly more acceptable and ‘normal’ projects. I’m trusting all of you to keep your sense of humour gritty and your patience far from shitty, as you wait for me to move myself from ‘mumgetmum’ back towards momentum.
Over 'n out. LE xx
“Start Ya Bastard: Intimate & In The Round”
The Bended Elbow, Dean St. Albury NSW 2640
Saturday 14th October 2017 at 8pm